There’s a saying in popular culture that if you want to get a man who’s good in bed, you should look out for how he eats. If he’s a bit messy, engages with the food, and fully enjoys his every bite, then chances are he’ll be a good lover. If he’s all civilized, watches his manners around food too much, and he doesn’t enjoy food, then chances are he’s not gonna cut the bill when it comes to bed skills. My take on that is that you don’t know until you try, and the best way to find out is to try it out, but hey, there might be some wisdom in the popular culture.
Western pop culture meets Eastern tradition and agree on this one. In Yogic traditions, each one of the five senses is linked to a certain energy center, a function in your system, and to a part of the brain, with taste especially linked to sexuality.
This week I set up an experiment to try some of this wisdom out, to see how I can use my five senses to more deeply engage with my presence and my pleasure.This is how I set this experiment up: before self-pleasuring, I took some time to activate each one of the senses and be fully present with them.
Out of the five, I got the best bang out of the buck, from smelling and tasting, so that’s what I’m going to describe in more detail. I laid out favorite or surprising things from the kitchen:
- ginger powder,
- cumin powder,
- herbs de Provence,
- peeled banana,
- cut out orange,
- candied ginger,
- 100% dark chocolate,
- bee polen,
- cinnamon powder,
- white truffle olive oil,
- coffee beans
- coconut oil,
- vanilla face cream,
- chocolate face mask.
I started the experience first with some deep breathing. This calms the nervous system, oxygenates the brain, and refreshes the entire body, activating your sensitivity and presence. Then, I closed my eyes and focus on smelling first. I took each ingredient and smelled it like I was smelling it for the first time. Curious, engaged, letting myself be surprised, delighted, and titillated. Second, I engaged my taste. Tasted each of the edible ingredients from the list, using the same curiosity, engagement, and paying attention to the sensations like I was tasting for the first time. I then engaged my sense of vision, looking at my own body with the same wonder. Put in some good music and let the sounds immerse me even more. Lathered in some coconut oil and explored touching every part of my skin, holding it with much love.
I went for a second round of engaging each of the senses, this time with simultaneous self-pleasuring. It’s a bit challenging to eat and touch yourself at the same time, there’s just not enough hands. So looking forward to trying this out with a partner next time.
I didn’t know from the start what the results of the experiments were going to be. So I was very surprised by how much I enjoyed tasting and smelling things on purpose. It was an access point to engage with my primal brain, my instincts, and my deeper consciousness. I got as much pleasure, if not more in this particular experience, from smelling and tasting, than from the sexual pleasure itself. I inhaled deeply, I licked, I salivated, I chewed and I swallowed. Surrendering to feeling, lowering cortical control, letting more primal parts of the brain be engaged and expressed, was deeply satisfying and something I’m going to do more often on purpose.
My invitation to you is to give it a try, and set up your own experiment. What are your favorite things to smell and taste? Engage with them on an intimate level and experience them like you are smelling, tasting and seeing them for the first time. Then let me know in the comments how it was for you and what you discovered in the process.