Before Bodysex, I had a few sex toys in my toolkit, to use mainly with my partner. I didn’t use any toys for myself. I most loved the Lelo Mona 2, as it was the one toy that unlocked my ability to have powerful, mind-blowing vaginal A-spot orgasms (that happened in the hull of a sailboat in British Virgin Islands, but that’s another story I’ll save for later).
After Bodysex, I became equipped with two toys: the Magic Wand and Betty’s barbell, the bread and butter of any Bodysex woman. I began using them in my self practice, as I committed to daily practice for a week, to integrate what I learned in Bodysex.
I really liked Betty’s barbell, its heaviness, the shiny metal, which to me, was more natural and organic than silicone. I liked its ability to change temperature, as I would run it under hot water before using it. I hate a cold silicone toy going in my vagina. I guess you could run the silicone toy under hot water too, but the metal retains temperature so much better. I like using the barbell on my belly muscles first. I run it around and massage my whole belly area, and it feels amazing. I feel safe, taken care of, I feel a deep relaxation in my abdominal area, which helps relax my whole nervous system.
I do like the Magic Wand, but I’m nowhere near the level of enthusiasm I see with most other women about it. With the wand, it’s recommended that you go with lower speeds first, which I did, but I like testing all of it, so I went on full speed (level 4) as well. This triggered a body response I haven’t felt before. I felt an electrical current from my clit, all the way down the leg, and a very powerful tingling, buzzing sensation in my left foot. I value the experience of that feeling for having a powerful body sensation to surrender to, to be really present with it, and allow it fully, as I have no control over it.
What I like a lot about the wand, is its variable speed patterns, and especially pattern #4, which is less rhythmical than the other ones. I love the anticipation that it builds in me, waiting and expecting a precise speed to come that I particularly like, only to see it fading and not stay in place for long at all. It builds the desire, the yearning, the craving. It’s one of the best ways to tease myself. I gather a good amount of that energy, and then funnel it to release and explode into my whole body, by giving my body exactly it wants.
Somewhat similar to Betty’s Barbell, is the nJoy Wand. It’s also metal, quite heavy, and has spherical bulbs on both ends. The difference is, it’s longer and curved, making it easier to reach one of my old favorite vaginal spots, which for me is between the g-spot and the a-spot. This is both the advantage and the disadvantage of the nJoy Wand. It does make certain things easier, but it also makes it more of a one-trick pony. It’s not as versatile as Betty’s Barbell. You can’t really do vaginal muscle lifting with it (though you can certainly squeeze around it), and you can’t comfortably reach more parts of the vagina at various angles.
The toy that I really fell in love with is the Icicles No. 55 glass dildo. It’s a perfect size for me, it’s textured, it’s curved, it has two ends, it feels very organic; and most of all, I developed more powerful, more intense, deeper, longer, internal clitoral orgasms. I can feel the bulbs of the clitoris swelling and pulsing in their whole mass. I’m able to vary my body position a whole lot more and still have an orgasm (or two, or three, or five) easily. I surprised myself to orgasm while standing. This makes me very excited, as I think of the possibilities this opens up for me: being able to infuse myself with the energy of an orgasm as a pick-me-up to fuel my daily activities, almost any time of the day, using … less conventional (but still private and respectful) places (yes, restroom stalls!).
But while the Icicles No. 55 has been the perfect tool as the companion on this latest very exciting journey, I think it’s just that: a tool. The things that were the true keys to reaching new peaks in my sexuality are: the desire to develop myself beyond the already perfect good sex that I was having; the belief that it’s possible for my body-mind to do new things; and the commitment to having a practice. In the beginning, I didn’t know how I was going to do that, but the desire-belief-commitment triad opened up the how: discovering and inventing new physical strategies and techniques and doing a good amount of energy and emotional healing work with myself.